I have been basically burning both ends of the candle and still getting to what seems no where. This has been one of my hardest years medically for me and I have had to put so much on hold because of it. I just feel like I always get what I want but it’s later than I would like and always way after everyone else.
I just love when the flowers start blooming. It came at a particularly good time because it provided just the right amount of hope for me. This year has been hard on me and it has been hard for me to see the good in things. Spring is good for reminding people that because it means that new growth is starting and the earth is coming back to life.
Also its spring when Easter finally happens. Easter in itself is enough to give hope because of my belief in God and what he did. He died, for my sins, in one of the most painful way possible and then he rose from the dead three days later. Its remarkably amazing and gives hope and is really helping me to work through these hard days and that there is something more than just what happens on earth. No matter what we suffer through he is there with us.
Reading: I just finished Hunger Games: Catching Fire for the second time. I just now started This Town and am about to start Happiness and the Art of Zen after it came up so many times while reading The College Prepster.I just took the leap and just bought it on my Kindle, I am really excited to start it and hope that it will help me to see things in a positive light and be able to reposition how I respond to events and how to come back from the negative in a positive way. I also am almost finished with The E-Myth Revisted. It is a great book for those wanting to go into a small business themselves.
Watching: Oh where to begin on this one……. There are just so many good shows going on and do not know which ones to highlight; So ill just start with my ALL TIME FAVORITE show of all time……..NCIS and NCIS LA.
Doing: Lots of planning, actually doing some blogging, Interning at a Representatives District Office, and trying to get back to normal.
Learning: How to set up marketing for small business- Lots and lots of webinars- Html code- how to reposition myself to make the best out of things- where to find motivation when it seems I have lost ALL of mine- to like blogging again- how to write a business plan – how to sew
So sorry about dropping off the face of the earth lately. I have dropped off the face of the earth because the past three months I have been going through a major health change. I am not going into detail other than I just feel like I got ran over by a truck all the time and have no energy and motivation to do anything, blogging has been no exception.
But the past two days have been one for the books in the good way. I know that for Lent I said I was going to do the #SheReadsTruth Lent study, that was an epic failure. But I have caught up mostly and am to the part about confession and studying. The study that I really enjoyed though was the Jonah study. It spoke to me.
The thing that stuck out the most is the verse which is currently my lockscreen, Jonah 4:4.
And God said , “ Does it do well to be angry?”
And then I finally went to confession for the first time in about 6 months, of course it felt much longer than that though. And after that and hearing something I realized there has been a reason for everything and I believe that finally figured out why I didn’t get the jobs that I wanted or the internships I wanted in DC, it all happened for a reason. If you actually read through this I am impressed and I think I will leave the reasons under wraps for now.
So for now that’s all… I am alive and back to blogging in the month of May in full force. Thank you for all who follow me I seriously don’t think I am that interesting.
Or I have been a bad blogger and not updated in forever.
The past couple of
weeks months has been hard on me, especially health wise. When you have no energy and feel like crap blogging is the least thing on my mind. I have been keeping up though.
I have been doing my internship. Finally decided that I am going to grad school fall 2015.
Currently watching the Harry Potter Marathon on ABC Family and loving it.
I have been just hanging in there. This post is kinda boring sorry. Just work with me while I work on getting better because right now that I my main priority.
Whew. Its been a week. I feel like I always say that though. The past couple of weeks have been a learning experience about what works and what doesn’t. I guess that is part of being a part of new business.
The good news is that through all of this I am learning new skills.
I have just started my grad school search and process. So YAY.
I’ve been given more opportunities to use my skills at my internship so another YAY.
I am just tired and still lacking a routine which is annoying me. I like routines. I like knowing what is going on. It must be the type A in me. I guess if I really want to get my stuff done I just need to organize my time better and just do it.
I was thinking of going to CPAC once I found the great deal from YAL, but then airfare is killing me. So I think that’s a no go for this year. Mostly because I am broke.
Another thing that I have found: when the days aren’t looking that good and I do my SheReadsTruth devotion I feel much better. It’s a nice reminder that we are not in control and that HE has a plan for us. This is not to say we shouldn’t work with what we have and the opportunities we have been given.
That’s it for now.
Hopefully next week I can post some more. Or maybe schedule some posts this weekend. Now time to clean and do some research.
This is how I feel right now. Like I can barley keep my head above the water but I also feel that all my work will pay off in the end. But right now its all falling apart around me and I am in one big giant mystery of where is my life going. And that maybe just maybe the past three years of hell in various ways will all be worth it and its my turn for stuff to go right.
I have applied and not gotten so many jobs in the past three years its getting to me. They were more just filler jobs until I got out of college and now I am applying for what I think I really want and I just want it to work out. Because I am running out of ideas, steam and motivation.
So just keep holding on, doing my best with out stressing too much and just wait. As hard as it is that is what I need to do. So here’s to saying some prayers and leaving it all up to God who has a plan that is far better than I could ever imagine.
These posts have really helped me to realize that no matter how hard it gets I still have things to be thankful for. And more and more often they are not things but people instead. And I know it’s November and now starts the time when everyone remmebers what they are thankful for…….but it should be something we do all the time and not just once a year on Thanksgiving.
1. My friends.
Like tonight me and my one friend are both seniors and both stressed out the max so we both went and got Mexican. It helped. Its good to let loose sometimes and then just come back to things. Like for me writing has been hard I have had writers block to the upteenth millionth degree.
2. My Mom
She always just wants to know I am ok because she knows my tendency to go all into things like everything and then just forget to the basic things like eat and sleep. And in doing so I get myself into trouble in the long run, which is probably what is happening now with this massive migraine and major writers block.
3. This blog even though it only hits like 2 people at this point. I know I am not always on top of posting things, like last week was the perfect example and for that I am sorry. I just want to help as many people as possible. I hope that someone is somehow touched by what I write and that it impacts someone’s life in a positive way. That’s all I really want out of life. To be able to say that I am able to make a difference for the better.
4. The fact that I just found my Nana’s pearls. I had missing them since beginning of the semester and it was driving me crazy. Its just good to have them back them remind me of her and make me feel close to her although she has left us.
5. The fact that people want to adopt and that I was able to be a part of one baby girls life by being part of, second hand of an adoption. (I feel a post coming on about this soon , lol )
6. Blood drives A. That I have the ability to help out with them and B. That my school does them and people are willing to give.
7. Oh and that I FINALLY went to my FIRST ever CR Meeting. Sure I am a little late on that and about to graduate but oh well. The chance to talk to like minded people and people who understand things like watching CSPAN and getting very into the outcome of the government shutdown is such a blessing. Right now I don’t have a lot of people to do that with and its kind of a hard thing for me. Someone would come in handy while I am writing this damn Senior thesis because then I would have someone to bounce ideas off, I found out that really helps and could need all the help I can get because right now I am so behind on that. Like should have had a rough draft Monday, still don’t have one or anything written than my sources.
1. Books and that I can buy them. I recently bought a whole bunch of new books and can not wait to read them. They are Politics related but that’s kinda a given with me. Its my major and I believe what I want to do with my life( that keeps changing but I am set on the politics part)
2. For people believing in me as I apply to internships and do research because its harder than it looks. Yes, we do not have to memorize stuff be have to read and then process and then process that in relation to our thesis and then write an original thought. Its hard. I love it though.
3. Fall Break and finally being able to catch up on some reading and also FINALLY FINALLY apply to internships. Cover Letters get tedious after writing almost the same thing multiple times.