why is this so hard
Is hard. Not just because it has apps on it like twitter and stuff but because I do not have the ability to text my friends and right now they are my support / friends because I have still not met a lot of people who live close to me and are my age.
And I also use my phone as my camera. So all through the snow day fun I was not able to get that many pictures. I have some on my sisters computer but I have yet to upload them.
Its been a long week without my phone and makes me realize just how much I am attached to it and use it when I should be in fact talking to people in the room with me.
It feels weird not being completely on top of the news either which is the main reason that I use twitter.
Funny thing was on my #101in1001 list is to go an entire week without my phone. Guess I can mark that one off the list.
1. My family- This is a new arrangement for all of us. I know its difficult and like any family we are going to have days when we hate or strongly dislike the other person , but I know that they want to help me and love me. And I know they are trying to get to me to have a positive outlook all the time but its hard and I am trying. Its been fun doing stuff with my mom lately that while I was at college we didn’t get to do; I feel like maybe we are getting along better. My sister is trying to help in any way she can even though she is only twelve and my me and my dad are talking more (kinda) so I guess you can call that an improvement. All I know is that I do love them and thankful for what opportunities they have provided me with and I really do try to not make anyone angry its just really hard sometimes.
3. Scandal – The Politics of this show is AWESOME. ITS IN DC. Im in love. The president isn’t too bad looking either.
And this has been one of the hardest four years ever. It has challenged me with my family, my friends and just in generally. I am generally a type A control freak kinda person. I have grown up mostly in a Catholic family. I went to Baptist school…………..I have heard it all. I know in my head more than my heart that I do not need to worry about my future and that I will end up where I belong. Its just hard.
And another thing that is hard for me to phantom is that someone actually wants me to be happy and wants the best for me. Its hard for me to understand………Its also hard for me to understand how I do not have to gain someone’s love. That’s how its been my entire life. It just happens that is part of the reason I work my butt off. But then again something that I want is to get a job. Its hard for me to believe people when they appear to have their life together…..or at least have a job because I have been looking for a job- anything for about three years. And when people say to wait about having a job and that eventually the right guy will come along at the right time…..I AM TIRED OF WAITING. And Quite frankly seriously doubt God right now.
So sorry I am little hard to trust him— I cant see him, I can barley trust people I meet. So yeah. I am seriously doubting he knows what is best for me and wants what is best for me , where has he been since like 2008?? Seems to be nonexistent.
So all that being said…….I am gonna try and trust him. I mean things are looking better with my family. That and I am a logical person and it goes against logic. I am difficult and subborn and I know it.
Well this currently my phone lock screen and my computer background. Its from http://www.collegeprepster.com . I am in love with it. Just go and live your dreams go after them and they will all fall into place in the right time.
So here’s a confession I really have no idea what to do on this whole job thing. Yes I have perfected my resume, yes i have applied to every job available it seems. And yes I know I am qualified because I know I can be awesome at whatever it is. That being said I just applied to like 6 jobs. They are all like first time jobs and i kinda feel like I should be doing more real world stuff, ok more stuff applicable to my major. And this among other things currently going on inside in my head. Thats all for now. Now its time for Beauty and the Beast because I am Belle, duh.